when i was in 5th grade i was way too shy, trying to figure out what it meant to be part of a group of friends. i felt clueless, yet somehow i managed to hang with what may have been the popular group. or maybe they were on the verge of discovering fame. all i knew was that they seemed to be the kind of friends that made sense to me. girls who just wanted to have fun.
during those early years, i was what one may have called a wallflower. a listener. an observer. someone who found interest in the way others related. simply by watching. and absorbing. without much talking. i don’t know if anyone was aware of my awkwardness. but i was. i felt insecure. as if they had so much more to offer than i ever did. but what they had to offer i couldn’t even begin to say what that was. really. those girls were just like me. surviving. trying to find a place in an elementary world.
as the years progressed. and i grew. and continued to learn the dynamics of relationships through listening and observing. i found myself. realizing that i had something to offer. to give to the world. when i was in the 5th grade.