walking in the storm

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i walk for pleasure. mostly. but, i also walk to ebb any tension that’s built up within my being. tension, every day, or not every day, tension. that can take me down. if i let it.

with my shock absorbing athletic shoes on, my pockets on the rear sweats and an oversized t-shirt dangling over my frame, i head out the front door. leaving rudy behind in the kitchen cooking. fleetwood mac entertains me, energizes me, soothes me as i stroll up the wide cement steps which lead to the paved street, heading toward the hills.

my thoughts meander, take over.

sometimes, lots of times, obstacles pop up, challenging us. rudy and me.

he’s here. home with me. in california. holding my hand. feeling happy.

yet, rudy is disappointed. in himself. dissatisfied that he has yet to find a job. employment to replace the position he left behind in arkansas. i remind him that life is a process. a continuous process that should be enjoyed. he nods his head in agreement, but deep down he’s not buying it.

our conversations on the subject begin like cool weather: comfortable, breezy, with a bit of a chill. then, expectedly or not, it turns heated. overbearing. uncomfortable.

as i’m walking in the hills. walking up steep inclines. jogging down descending, winding narrow roads. i talk to myself. talk myself through my day. my life. our life. i work out my frustrations. make sense of my destiny. rudy’s destiny. our destiny. i consider my take on the world. where i fit in. where we fit in.

everything will be fine. i tell myself. because i know its true. my optimism tells me so. everything will be fine.

i walk into the house. five miles later. one and a half hours after i began my journey of reflection. rudy smiles at me. his glasses balancing on the tip of his nose. i smile. wipe the sweat off my brow. and tell him i love him. i love you too, he tells me. he’s my person. and i’m his. individually, each in our own way, and together we will weather our storm. and enjoy a world of sunshine.

6 thoughts on “walking in the storm

  1. I have stopped walking (for no good reason whatsoever). This is what it used to give me too. I should definitely start again and this piece may just be enough to nudge me back to it. From what you’ve shared, I am confident you and Rudy can weather any storm and that your sunshine is never far away. (Also loved the style you wrote this in).

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    • i don’t walk as much as i should, amy… i have returned to the classroom, teaching a group of rambunctious students so by the time i get home i feel like i already worked out – yet really it was only my psyche that did the work….. and thanks for the confidence… rudy and i have been having ours ups and downs, but we definitely will pull through… thanks for staying connected, amy….

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